My Freshman year in college taught me a lot of things. Some good, some bad, and some just plain weird. And so, I share my newly gained knowledge with you in the hopes that you won't make the same mistakes as I did...or to at least let you know, you're not alone.

The Most Important Lessons I Learned in College...Or, My Guidence Counselor Never Told Me THAT!

1. It's okay to drink as long as you do so in moderation...4 in 40 is not moderation.
2. Once drunk, it's okay to hit on your guy/girl friends as long as you apologize later.
3. While hitting on your guy/girl friends act cold if they have layers of clothing on, you might score a comfy article...this applies mainly to girls.
4. Once you score that article feel free to live in it till they ask for it back...but make sure you wash it first, especially if you've been sleeping in said article.
5. If you feel sick and there's no one to tell you to go to class, you won't...that is until you realize that you lose a percentage point of your final grade for every class you miss.
6. If you got C's on papers in high school, you'll get A's on papers in college.
7. Bring lots of movies and you will be popular...however, make sure you get them back or you'll go from 20 to 2 in a semester.
8. Don't close your door when you're trying to study/write a paper/talk on the phone , invariably people will knock on it every 3 seconds....leave it open and no one will bother you.
9. ALWAYS tape your favorite shows, even if your in the room watching it you'll miss vital parts due to unforeseen interruptions.
10. If one person in your dorm is sick you have a 50/50 chance of catching it, the odds increase with the # of sick people.
11. If your roommate is sick, you will catch it as soon as they are feeling better.
12. Always carry your room keys with you, no matter where you go. The one time you forget them is the day out get locked out of your room in a towel.
13. Keep Ramen, Easy Mac, a Pyrex bowl, and a spoon on hand at all time. Sometimes the 5 minute walk to the caf is too long...especially in the snow.
14. The washing machines will break when you have 2 weeks worth of laundry to do, and won't be repaired for another week...if it doesn't smell it can be worn again.
15. You can apply the 'smell' rule to any and all clothing, but make sure you get a second opinion.
16. Never let a friend that doesn't drink, mix a drink for you...they will always put too much alcohol in to trick you.
17. Bring a variety of clothing, and always wear layers, you will be freezing while your roommate will be roasting.
18. You will get yelled at for making long distance phone calls the night after you talk to someone 12 hours away for half an hour.
19. Long distance relationships will almost never work...but have fun trying.
20. Trying to fit more furniture into the room will only cause problems. Be happy with what you have.
21. If you must have another piece of furniture, be sure to measure the space it's supposed to fit in before you buy it, otherwise you'll end up throwing out your back moving furniture and getting pissed at your roommate.
22. If you like a guy he will always smell good...even after running a mile, he will still smell good, and his clothing will smell like him indefinitely.
23. No matter how much you like your roommate you will cherish every minute you don't have to be in the same room with them.
24. If your first roommate doesn't work out and you must get another, try for an upperclassmen. They're more mature, and can score you alcohol.
25. If you have a hangover your hall will decide to have a karoke contest at 9am in the morning as loud as possible.
26. The bathrooms are disgusting, get used to it, and always wear flip flops.
27. You will love anything your mother cooks and fully appreciate restaurants after eating caf food everyday for months on end.
28. You won't get up for breakfast more then once. Switch to a lower meal plan and save your money.
29. You will love getting any mail...and when you don't you will envy those who do.
30. The hot ones are either taken or gay....or should never open their mouths.
31. Your parents will always call at 10am the morning you don't crawl into your bed till 4am after drinking the night away. If you're a girl, claim cramps, if you're a guy it's okay, because you're allowed to have a hangover.
32. If your roommate keeps saying "this room is a mess" odds are it's their stuff all over the room. Be sure to point this out or else you'll get stuck with the cleaning.
33. Try and get a room on the top most floor, yeah it may be a pain to carry all your junk up and down the stairs, but you won't have to deal with noisy people above you, the sounds of people coming in drunk at 3am, people banging on your window asking to be let in the building, or the traffic to the laundry room.
34. Bring a camera and take pictures of the people you are friends with and the things you do, otherwise when family and old friends ask what you've been up to you can show them the pictures to back up the stories, plus they're easy decorations.
35. You will not have room for everything, don't bring anything you might use, cause chances are, you won't and it'll just take up space.
36. For the first couple of months don't expect to be asleep before 2am on weeknights, 4am on weekends.
37. You will count down the days till you first get to go home, this is normal and will not continue after the first time. Until it comes time for summer.
38. You will not appreciate the freedom you have at college until that first visit home.
39. Do your homework, even if the teacher says they won't ever collect it, do it anyway.
40. Don't leave major research papers till the night before, you'll only kill yourself with the stress.
41. Loft your beds if you can handle the height. You'll have so much more room then if you leave the beds low, but be sure to bring a short step ladder to get up there with.
42. Instant Messenger is cheaper then phone calls, so is e-mail.
43. Though shall not chug vodka...you will vomit early and be no fun for the rest of the night.
44. If I were a mango and you were a kumquat, would we be a fruit salad? Kumquats!!!!! Is not a valid pick up line.
45. Having your roommate cut your hair may save money, but a lot of trust is involved.
46. The day you are hung over and in your pj's lounging on your bed at 3 in the afternoon is the day a tour group will wander in and check out your room.
47. You can't have the guy you want, deal with it and move on.
48. Don't mix your alcohol, stick to one kind all night, unless you switch to beer. Otherwise you throw up real fast.
49. Throwing up kills your buzz and you have to start all over again.
50. On small campuses if you sneeze everyone knows, so don't blab your inner most secrets unless you want your Bio teacher bringing them up in class.
51. The one person you know with ESP will not help you with your experiment.
52. The easy A course is always the most boring one you have, as well as the longest on the day you have 2 other classes.
53. The caf food will always suck...just deal with it.
54. If given the opportunity to go to a friend's house for dinner, jump on it. The food will last for weeks and you'll not mind the caf food as much.
55. Go to brunch, it's pretty decent, and it's hard to mess up eggs and bacon.
56. Your friends will always like the most annoying person you know, and insist you invite them wherever you go. Just remember this applies to who you like as well.
57. He has no rhythm, he'll never have rhythm, just let him be cute and don't ask for more.
58. Whatever you do, do not fool around on your roommate's bed. Don't even think about it, it's just dirty.
59. Snood is evil, and yes, they are mocking you.
60. Thou shalt not leave thy girlfriend every weekend to go skiing, unless you're really good at make-up sex.
61. You will inevitably pick up more of your friends slang, then they pick up of yours. This will make you sound 'wicked' silly when you go home, but take confident in the fact that you can now speak a different language, ayuah.
62. The five second rule does not apply to anything gooey.
63. No matter how curious you are, and how funny it may seem at the time, never take a black light to your guy friends bed.
64. Everything sounds funnier in your head, especially when you're drunk. Sadly when you're drunk the words tend to not stay in your head.
65. If you are drunk you will end up watching porn, it's unavoidable. Just sit back and enjoy the show, just don't make you're own.
66. If you move to a state where you can get snow into April you will not have more then 3 snow days. Go to school in a place where any bad weather shuts down entire cities.
67. Spring Break is an excellent time to catch up on your sleep and with old friends.
68. The more trouble and confusion caused by getting a date to the dance increases the risk of it's cancellation the day of.
69. Girls, don't get stuck on the bottom, it isn't a good angle.
70. The less time you have until you go home for summer, the more irritating your roommate will become.